Jay-Z’s lyrics are no real laughing matter. However, today is not about attacking Jay-Z. Let’s talk about these women who knew he was married to the one and only Beyonce Giselle Knowles Carter and still inexplicably chose to partake in relations with somebody else’s husband. It’s not okay. Who are they and where can they be found? Better yet, lets dialogue 1:1. Who are you that you would find yourself respectfully and meritoriously entertaining someone’s else soulmate? Jay-z, in fact, had that part right. Husbands and wives are attached defiantly by the sultry and sanctified souls they were blessed with. Then there’s you, someone who was missing all the pieces to the puzzle, filling them in just as Beyonce said, “with half of her.”
At some point in our lives, we all lose a little bit of ourselves to someone who didn't deserve us. I did at one point. I even dedicated Beyonce's "Bday" to a period of my life that isn't even worth the despicable discussion. Let's just say "Irreplaceable" read him from one end of the cd cover to the next.
However, Lemonade was the true story that so many women have endured. It was an accurate and vivid depiction of relationship realities. It's hard out here. Even for Beyonce. It's even harder when the woman you least expect has no regard for the sacred union that you share with your significant other. No regard for the brokenness in children that infidelity presents. No regard for the empty home being formed through fornicating transgressions. No regard for the deceit.
We see remnants of this on various reality shows every day. We see it as a focal point of drama in countless movies. It has become a selling point for some shows. We've all heard countless times, in the entertainment industry, wives, fiances, and girlfriends should just understand what comes with the territory. Groupies. But what if you're Beyonce? You're honing and owning your best life and this still happens to you. You've given the best appetizer, entree and desert a girl can serve. Yet, you are still done over by a mistress. I have seen and counseled many women alike in my young age using Beyonce's Lyrics. My friends can attest.

When I was younger, my best friend and I would even use the slogan "I can't compete" to describe the girls we thought were a little too promiscuous. I acknowledge, wholeheartedly that these women with no remorse exist. I've worked with some and been friends with some. And yet, I still don't get it. Why do we do this to each other? Where is the shame? Where is the regard?
I cannot tell you how many time's as a newlywed, I was told what I "ought to be doing" to keep my man interested. I find it interesting that we women tell ourselves these contestable things. It's literally fostering fear that if you don't do x,y, and z, that your man is going to be doing a,b, and c. News flash. If he's going to do it, he's doing it no matter if you're an A-lister or not. The note was taken, Jay-Z. Perhaps, the readily available women don't help. Especially in coherence with a multitude of other factors.
People always say blame the man in the situation. Go after him. Don't get mad at the girl. However, this blog is a mere notion of pointing out that it isn't all his fault. Someone had to be there to participate. Let's call her out. Let's better understand why "Becky" seems to want to stick around despite knowing that a man is married, engaged or taken.
Nevertheless and despite all "side chicks", I guess it's great that Jay-Z is forthright and apologetic: two qualities that can take one far in any relationship. Preach and practice folks. It may save us all the stress and strife of these situations.
P.S., hello again, "Becky", take notes from Jay-Z: "We all lose when the family feuds." Oh, and: "Let me alone, Becky, A man that don't take care his family can't be rich."

This blog is featured on Huffington Post as well. 

I’ve been to New York several times and had never been to the Metropolitan Museum of Art until a recent trip this past fall. I’ve been to just about every museum in Tennessee; every tourist attraction in Nashville, but I had never been to the Frist Center for Performing Arts until about a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been to just about every museum in Paris, France: The Louvre, Eiffel Tower, the Palace of Versailles and more. In fact, I completed the Paris museum ring in about 4 days! Each time, I can tell you that I’ve come out a new person, renewed and rejuvenated in so many magnificent ways. ​

​
No wonder, famous people who attend the Met Gala each year have such a good time! A night filled with the best art in all forms: fashion, music and literal art. The whole world has been watching since 1948 on the first Monday in May to experience the 30k per ticket event through social media and red carpet coverage! The 600 exclusive attendees are told to dress according to showcased exhibitions. So, that's what the public gets to see! After the red carpet, all social media is banned and events of the night are a secret. And, that's exactly where the fun stops for us. But don't fret, some of the same exhibitions that make it in the Met come to our neighborhood too! In fact, one in particular, the Irving Penn: Beyond Beauty Exhibition, came a little earlier than its April 24th debut at the Met in NYC.

​I can't help, but to think about my sweet daddy's face and laugh if he were here to see my wedding invitations.  This was, in fact, the reason I chose Miss Design Berry to provide an illustrious example of the aura of my special day!  From the moment I encountered Miss Design Berry, I knew I'd found the golden ticket for my big day!  

I had gone through countless catalogs, magazines, blogs, Pinterest Posts, Etsy shops, Instagram pages and more in search of invitation stationary that told a story and had a persona as if my fiance and I were delivering the golden ticket to the front door of our special guest's houses in true Cinderella style.  I wanted more than just a piece of paper that guests would throw away! I wanted a good "Daddy Emerson" laugh or a big smile to go along with it! 

The invitation process is probably the least glamorous process of your ethereal vision for a wedding!  After hunkering down a reasonable guests list, you can't help but think about the folks you wish you could've invited like your kindergarten teacher or your internship coordinator.  It's inevitable to invite everyone that you've shared special moments with! The strife from the countless guest list revisions can be purely pestering! Maybe even so to the point where you're like I don't care what kind of invitation it is or who gets it! HA! 

Miss Design Berry's vision for their stationary is truly majestic in its approach.  It captures the essence of a couple through animation.  The simplicity of sending in your pictures and having a Miss Design Berry graphic designer bring your photos to life is all the more exciting!  Seeing my drafts for the first time made me imagine all the significant moments that I'm going to experience in just 2 more months! It makes me wish I could send an invitation to heaven just to hear my favorite angel-daddy laughing through time!  Yes, I just created a new word!  Perhaps, they should add it to the dictionary next year! 

Nevertheless, countless one's of my friends and family who received their Miss Design Berry Invitation's snap chatted them,  shared them via text, and even called to exchange laughs and a few tears!  I think it's safe to say that my mission as Bridechilla is accomplished! 46 days until I'm Mrs. Sweet! Thank you to the entire staff at Miss Design Berry for creating a grand introduction to my dream wedding day! BANG! I'm so excited to share even more in these coming days! 

Learn more about Miss Design Berry, here. 

The best part of a good movie is when an exhilarating soundtrack gets your heart thumping, your leg bouncing and the unexpected arrival of evoked emotions. There is something about the way an editor places music behind video or pictures to tell a story that puts us all in our place. That probably concludes why there is so much anticipation around the Academy Award for Best Original Score. Music gets our attention and elicits a story that we wouldn’t understand if it were left up to just video and pictures. As Kid Cudi once said, “This is the soundtrack to my life.” 
Music sets the scene for us in so many ways. Before we are even drafted to the movies, we are captured by the tunes we hear in the commercials while we’re busy doing chores around the house. Music captivates us so much so that we run to the other room to see what the fuss is all about. The sound coupled with the imagery sells us! 
In cohesion with this notion, real life experiences are much the same. When the cultural climate presents adversity, music is there to provide meaning or solace to an environment in need. Many artists such as Solange, Kendrick Lamar and the Bob Marley have spoken out through thought-provoking lyrical gestures. These expressions help us answer the call to recognize the revolution and manifest destiny.

Even more, it’s no strange adoration that we love when famous people step in to speak for the masses of the unattended or oppressed. We rally behind them as if we’re cheering for Will Smith on the movie Ali when he was running through Africa prepping for his “Rumble in the Jungle” fight against George Foreman. It’s what we need to maintain moral and motivate activation. Rather we realize it or not, it’s exactly what the Soul Music Revolution has done for us for decades. 

​Soul music produces such tempting sound that we cannot help, but to get involved. The artistic expression has helped many heal through the times of various political feats: Women’s rights, Civil rights and more. It has told stories that some wouldn’t have otherwise known. It has introduced the less-informed to the struggles and trials to be conquered. It has created soundtracks for the times to share with generations to come. It has empowered people to produce positivity and prosperity. 

Often times, the way we identify with generational nonfiction movies is through the music. For example, Hidden Figures, a movie set in the 60’s utilized a time appropriate soundtrack so that viewers could feel present in the movie. This is exactly how many of us feel in today’s cultural climate. Our souls yearn for melodious sounds and vibrant lyrics. Furthermore, our soundtracks which include the likes of Solange’s “A Seat at the table” and Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright” will one day tell our stories to future generations.

1. Give a hug! 
It's been said that hugs can cure stress and a multitude of other health challenges.  Despite hugging being too close for comfort for some, the embrace of it can prevent you from getting sick! According to U.S. News and World report, researchers from Carnegie Mellon found that people who perceived greater social support were less likely to come down with a cold! 

2. Extend some gratitude! 
Thank you goes without saying to some of us who practice it so often.  It can become so routine that we don't even notice its benefits! However, if you really say it with enthusiasm and presence of the moment, you are sure to feel the joy in gratitude! P.S. Some who doesn't hear it a lot needs to hear it from you! 

3. Give someone a smile. 
It's easy to have on your daily poker face as you tackle what seems like the world's problems.  Start today by relaxing that face and embracing a gleeful grin.  Someone needs to feel like things are going to be okay by seeing your smile! 

4. Share a joke. 
My fiance loves to show me funny videos, memes, and jokes!  I love it!  Sometimes, I just look at him and laugh because he thinks they are so funny! He looks back at me and we both double over laughing at each other!  It's the best part of my day! 

5. Comment on someone's social media. 
A simple gesture of cheer can go a long way!  Encourage somebody with a few words.  

6. Offer to help someone. 
Perhaps, it's an elderly person in need of an extra hand at the grocery store.  Perhaps it's someone who's having trouble with a project at work.  Perhaps it's someone who can't seem to understand their positioning on a particular subject.  Help them. 

7. Share something inspiring on your social media. 
I love cute baby pictures, love stories, memes, quotes, landscape photos, travel stories, movie or tv suggestions and more! Go ahead, share something amazing today! 

8. Catch up with a friend you haven't talked to in a while. 
If you're anything like me, you don't want to spend hours a day on the phone so you talk to people every once in a while.  Today is the day! Let someone know that they aren't forgotten and you love them. 

9. Write someone a sweet note! 
Get sentimental and journal to someone about the sweet memories the two of you have shared and the thanksgiving that you have for them! P.S. Gentlemen, women love sweet notes! Warning, we tend to act like 16-year-old girls when we get this kind of gesture. 

10. Do something towards a goal you've been trying to pursue. 
You can never stop working to be even better than you were yesterday!  Take the leap and do what you need to do for a better day.  Self-love is the best love. ​

It was just last year that Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith, and a few others were boycotting the Oscars due to few nominations to African Americans.  Social Media enthusiast even coined a hashtag #OscarsSoWhite.  Hollywood A-listers including George Clooney, Reese Witherspoon, and Don Cheadle also proclaimed a need for greater representation in the film industry.  Movies such as "Creed", "Concussion", and "Straight Out of Compton" were slighted from the Oscars with literally one nomination apiece.  

According to USA Today, "In the Academy Awards' 88-year history, only 14 black actors have won acting Oscars — the first was Hattie McDaniel for Gone With the Wind in 1940, and the last was Lupita Nyong'o (who was born in Mexico) for 12 Years a Slave in 2014. The winners' pool is even shallower for other minorities. " 

There is no doubt that African American's are vibrant, talented people of many different facets.  For years, many have debated that the roles we tend to play in movies downplay who we are as a people: slaves, cooks or other typecast roles.  After all, those tend to be the one's Hollywood glamorizes the most; the ones that win awards.  The 2016 Oscar boycott must've shed some light on the major issue of diversity and inclusion in the film industry because 2017's Oscar nomination list looks quite colorful.  

In celebration of 2017 being a great year for the African American film industry and it being Black History Month, I present to you: 28 Must See African American movies!  Whether you are in need of a laugh, a sappy love story or some reassurance of how magical black people are, you are sure to get your fix with one of these.  Grab some popcorn and enjoy a new movie each night of February! 

Dear Newly Engaged Folks of 2017, 

There are so many things I want to tell you about this period of your life, dun dun dun, the engagement phase!  Congratulations first and foremost.  Many will say marriage is not an accomplishment, but I think it is still something to be celebrated as it is a dawn of a new day, the premiere of a new movie, a page of a new chapter.  It's exciting and exceptional all in the same!  You should be so happy, anxious, curious, stressed, joyous, grateful and so many more emotions that come with merging your life with your person.  He or she is yours and you get to have "the sun and Jake" as Olivia Pope from Scandal alluded too.  P.S. let me just tell you, you will encounter a little bit of scandal/ drama here and there.  Don't believe the married folks that say they've never heard of such!  They are sitting on Pandora's box! 

Anywho, I do have some suggestions to you about the growth you are about to experience! I have some tips and tools from some of my married girlfriends that are sure to help you make the wisest decisions.  But, I want to start by telling you to choose yourself in this process.  I think that's what my fiance has always loved most about me.  It's not in a selfish way, but I wanted to be as prepared as well as I could to merge my life with him! Don't get me wrong, we've talked marriage since we met seven years ago and talked from dusk until dawn on Christmas Eve, but I have always told him about my goals and aspirations and I've put my money where my mouth is every time!  He gets it!  He, actually, promotes it!  When I say I can't, he says, "Oh but you will!" It inspires him too!  When I got engaged, my sweet sorority sister said to me, "I'm just so happy that you did so much for yourself before this period.  You guys have done long distance. You've stood your ground on some stuff.  You've learned the do's and don'ts.  You've changed careers a few times.  You've lived!"  P.S. I'd like to relay this advice to my single gals too! Before you seek a ring, chase your dreams like Martin Luther King! 

My favorite part in Scandal was when Olivia said, "I'm choosing me. I'm choosing Olivia. And right now, Olivia is dancing. Now, you can dance with me or you can get off my dance floor. I'm fine dancing alone." 

Now, you'll get your fair share of marriage advice from old ladies, divorced folks, me and my man against the world type folks, the Stepford housewife type folks, the real housewives franchise type folks and so much more.  Trust me, I know, I'm still engaged too, just almost done planning and closer to jumping the broom.  Beware, at the end of the day, it's God, him or her and you! 

Engagement is not the end of anything.  My fiance and I still refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend sometimes and we laugh and laugh about how beautiful our evolution is and how beautiful our lives as one will be.  It's literally amazing! It's a Godsend.  Now, is the time for you to grow even more and learn how to help and accept the manifestation of who you are morphing into each day and who your partner is morphing into! 

Becoming the best you does not mean that you are not showing submission or interested in becoming one with your partner.  Don't let anyone tell you that either! It will bring you closer and it will further foster some teachings and learnings between the two of you.  From my experience, my fiancé and I are ridiculously competitive.  We will have a full-fledged argument over who's losing a board game.  I once asked him if I could borrow some money in the board game, Life.  He said no and I promise, I was ten year old girl again.  Ask our friends or my cousin, Toni, they'll tell you that's when we bring out the best and worst of each other.  I get a little live like Channel 5 and he does do too.  Thereof, when he see's me striving to be the best me that I know how, hes pushing for the same thing and vice verse!  I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE WHEN HE'S HARD PRESSED TO BE THE BEST! 

Lastly, this is a series of all the advice I want to give you! While you get ready to face marriage counseling (I highly advise), advice from many directions, countless self-help books to choose from, wedding planners left and right, noisy bridal shows, overwhelming time crunches, body-image wars, tv shows that tell you who to be on your special day and so much more, I want to remind you to focus on you! Quiet the noise.  Take it one step at a time.  Grow with your new engagement glow! Life is good and getting better each day! 

Sincerely, 
Mrs.Sweet To Be: 
Jasmine Katrina Hockett ​

Moreover, the two come from two different educational backgrounds. Ivy League vs. Non-Ivy League. Yes, your president, Barack Obama did graduate from Columbia University and Harvard University. Meanwhile, Ol’ Joe was the friend that traveled the opposite road attending the University of Delaware and Syracuse University. In 1987, he told the New York Times: “In his statement today, Mr. Biden, who attended the Syracuse College of Law and graduated 76th in a class of 85, acknowledged: ‘I did not graduate in the top half of my class at law school and my recollection of this was inaccurate.’”
From my experience having a few Ivy-league-graduate friends and myself being that of Ole’Joe, we have an interesting exchange of dialogue and debate that I appreciate! However, we genuinely enjoy a night out on the town with endless laughs and memories our ancestors would croak over about. One of my Ivy-League friends even left Law school at Harvard to go to Colombia because he said it was too stuffy. Perhaps the proposed exchange of the “serious student” and “class clown” helped elicit the many photos of the Obama and Joe laughing and the countless memes that kept us all entertained. P.S. I was the class clown and serious student.

Lastly, ethnicity. It’s clear to see that Barack Obama and Joe Biden may be different races, but they transcended that too! Furthermore, they transcended race relations even though they experienced them in two different skin tones and even different time periods. They showed the world that its okay to talk with your brother from another mother. They showed the world that if we work together, we can win! No matter the background, no matter the economic stature, no matter the other many details that we can come up with, let’s identify our common goal and work it out. Do the right thing. 
In the words of Brody Jenner, this is what “Bromance” looks like! All politics aside, you’ve got to respect this relationship!

It was 2008 when I cast my first presidential vote.  In 2011, I ventured off to D.C to intern for the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation and Congressman Steve Cohen of Memphis, TN.  I didn't know a host about politics, but I was ready and willing to learn in all capacities of the arena.  I was enrolled at George Washington University in a political science management program with students that look like poster kids for a picture perfect America- DIVERSE.  We taught each other through healthy debate.  We grew up together.  Some of us became best friends! 

I can tell you that my experience would've looked and felt quite different under another administration.  I am thankful for the Obama Administration.  In 2013, I attended President Obama's second inauguration and the official ball.  The room was filled with love, happiness, and stardom!  And HOPE! Of course HOPE! 

For my generation, this administration has opened doors and shaped our dreams.  Our aspirations.  Our lives. Oh, and our marriage goals! Today, on the blog, I bring you my best friend's letter to her boss, President Obama.  Yes, she worked for him in real life!  Moreover, she worked as a compliance manager for the DCCC.  She, too, was an intern on the United States Capitol Hill.  She, too, was an intern for the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation.  Meet, my best friend, Vania Kinard in a poetic letter that was published on Medium.

Cue the victorious music or Buzz Lightyear's theme song because we're going to need it.  You see, this is only the beginning.  ​

Dear President Obama: Thank you for the honor of servingBy Vania Marie Kinard

​I had the great fortune to work on your 2012 re-election campaign in the Compliance Department. I began my journey in politics when I moved from my hometown of Highland Park, IL to Washington, D.C. in 2008 to attend college. After graduating with a degree in Politics from Catholic University of America, I immediately joined the campaign. It has been a great honor to be one of the youngest staffers to serve under your leadership. I am thankful for the opportunity to join the OFA family and I am incredibly grateful for all my fellow colleagues who have inspired me along the way.

My career in politics has always been driven by my family’s history. On my mother’s side, my great grandparents moved their family from Mississippi to the south side of Chicago during the early days of the Great Migration. My great grandparents were born in the 1910's and they lived as poor sharecroppers. They barely spoke about their education because they were never afforded the opportunity to continue school past the second grade. Growing up, they would tell me stories of life as a poor family in the Mississippi Delta. At a young age, they were limited to tending the farm and working in the fields picking cotton. Although they lacked education, they desired change and had the will to move forward!

My father’s family history in the military also influenced my career in politics. I grew up with a great grandfather who served in the United States Army in World War II. My grandpa, followed by my father and older brother all served in the United States Navy. My younger brother, Wesley, is currently carrying the family tradition serving in the Navy stationed in Japan on the USS Ronald Reagan. All my life I have looked to my family as an example of how to dream, believe and achieve. They showed me how to be disciplined, courageous, genuine, respectful, and gracious. As a family, we have lived and traveled all over the world, making our home in Guam, California, and Illinois. I am proud of my family’s legacy and I am continuously motivated by their strength to persevere.
The day I was chosen to join the Obama for America family was one of the greatest moments of my life. I was proud to carry the spirit of my own family into this new life chapter of working on the campaign. It has always been my dream to carry the family torch, serving my country. The past eight years have been life changing in all the best ways for me. I went from a college student interning on Capitol Hill with the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation to becoming a Compliance Manager for the Democratic Party before I was 25. In September 2015, I was invited to greet Pope Francis and welcomed him to the United States on the first day arriving in the country. Since then, I have traveled to 45 states in the US and several countries, including Israel. I’ve taken the lessons that I learned on the campaign and transformed my life into the visions of my ancestors.

I am truly honored and humbled to have contributed to the campaign. I cherish your vision and leadership. I am beyond appreciative of all the advice you have shared with us on this incredible journey. You have changed my life. I am forever grateful for your words of wisdom. As a woman of color, I can not help but appreciate the impact of First Lady Michelle Obama on my life. Her passion, beauty, grace, and presence transcends time. As I’ve traveled around the world, I’ve witnessed the praise and admiration for the first family. I’ve seen the past eight years transform the lives of so many people around the world, including my own.

It has been the highest honor to be among the new generation of inventors, creatives, and future leaders that follow your legacy. Thank you for taking the dreams of my ancestors and making them a reality. I’m excited to start a new chapter, expand my territories, and be a positive shining light for years to come.

May God Bless you and the United States of America!

Sincerely,
Vania Marie Kinard

It's the beginning of 2017 and a revolution of energy has sparked within each of us.  We are ready to be our new selves tonight!  We feel like Tina Turner after she left Ike or Beyonce when she belted out "I'm a Survivor."  Some of us feel like Angela Bassett after she burned up a car in the movie, Waiting to Exhale! Without a doubt, we are ready! 

​I suggest to you to water your garden. Live yourself some flowers, Laugh at yourself. Smile at yourself. Talk to yourself.  Read aloud to yourself.   Build your core. 

Last year, two of my friends bought me books that are helping me continually grow: (1) Daily Gratitudes: A Journal to Record The Good Things In My Life (2) Jesus Calling.  

I never realized how much I had to be thankful for until I started writing it down.  When I first cracked open this book, I just stared at it and wrote very shallowly what I was thankful for as if I deserved the world.  Wrong.  It forced me to dig deep and really see and understand the who, what, why and how of being thankful.  It strengthened my core! Book #2 gave me a better sense of God's presence.  Its devotionals are written as if Jesus himself is talking to you! The author, Sarah Young says, "I have written from the perspective of Jesus Speaking, to help readers feel more personally connected with Him." So the first person singular ("I," "Me," "My," "Mine) always refers to Christ; "you" refers to you, the reader." If you are anything like me, sometimes deciphering biblical language can be a challenge.  I, actually, still utilize my teen study bible!

If your New Year's energy has compelled you to run to the bookstore, I encourage you to add these two to your lists!  Perhaps, even buy them for your friends.  We could all use some core practice.  Even, those with a six-pack have to continue to work!  Having this strength will enable you to slide down the hill and get back up again.  

P.S. If you have trouble finding what you are thankful for, here's a list to get you started! 

​Thank you for reading!  Happy New Year! 2017 is yours!